people never know who you really are..EVER

Sexy!!!

THE CAB

What can I say about The Cab but their amazing and humble. I’ve never thought people like them or should I say famous would act like them. I forget that their human too and that they go through everything that we “normal” people do and nothing more and nothing less. I remember the first time I heard them I was in math class and a friend of mine told me I should listen to them and I’ve been hooked from day one. To me their more then just a rock band, their people who happen to take my emotions and put a to music. I know that sounds far fatch or whatever but it’s true. Their music has gotten me through alot of hard things in my life. That’s alot to put on someone’s shoulders and making them responsible for what I’m going through. But I love listening to their music and having an escape from realilty for a little while. It’s something that makes me a little happy for a bit of time. I’m gald that I could get my best friend Ashley to listen to them and she agrees that The Cab is a great band. Maybe not the way that I do. But either way that’s good in my book. I wish them all the best in the world and all their goals accplishment. Because their Music and music period can rule the world and save lives and change things. Hopefully they’ll end up like the greats in the music business. And that they keep saving lives like my own, and teaching us that following your dreams and never giving up on what you believe in and live every day the way you want…. MUSIC is everything no matter how you word the lyrics or what what beat people use, it still emotions and thoughts an artist being brave enough to let people in and showing their vulerability. To me The Cab are becoming masters of their own vulerability.

yeah well it’s happening again I can’t get away from it. The thoughts are like on replay and turned up on high volume and I don’t know what to do. As hard as I try I can’t turn it off. I’ve blocked it out or try to ignore it as best as I can but nothing I do seems to be working. It’s like it was the last time but at the same time different and worse. I’m losted and so dang confused! I know it’s not right to think this way and I try to pretend that I don’t feel the way I do. But then that leaves me lieing to myself on a daily bases. And that’s wrong on so many levels. That little voice inside everyone’s head( a conscious) that tells you what not to do. It’s like mine never got the memo at all, like it got losted in the mail or something. It’s not hard to pretend I’m not hurting I’ve been doing it for so long now, but then I get those days like today and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I’ve cried myself to sleep alot lately normally I’m too numb to get up the energy to bring up tears. Sometimes I hate myself( well…let’s not lie here..it’s most of the time) I lie to myself like I’ve lied to everyone for the last 20 yrs of my life. Sometimes I believe in those lies I tell or show people. It’s crazy how I can show everyone the smoke and mirrors and start believing in ti to. But once it’s over I come back to the ground. Just maybe I should start listening to my conscious and just let go. Instead of trying to tune it out or ignoring it. I honestly think it’ll be easier for everyone involed. Right? I woundn’t be stuck on this marry-go-around of hopeless and darkness. I would be free and at peace some might not think that but I do. I’m human nothing more and nothing less. After all what’s the point of living if all you do is pretend.

nothing more, nothing less

my life